How To Set Good Personal Boundaries

“A No Means A No!”

We all have heard this powerful line, but having the assertiveness to utter these words when needed is something most people lack. Communicating one’s boundaries is essential to attain security, trust, and freedom to express oneself without hesitation.

The creation of boundaries plays an integral part in any social interaction. But, when social interaction is all about mingling, exploring, and knowing new people, how can one protect their boundaries without shedding them.

Well, fences are a great example to personify personal boundaries. They help to prevent unwanted access. Personal boundaries limit any unwanted manipulation, interference, and conflicts. These boundaries can expand and contract, depending on what your likes, dislikes, and what your preferences are.

Any thriving relationship relies on a well-conceived understanding of the personal limits set for both the persons engaged in a mutual relationship. But, without coming across as anti-social, how can one set good personal boundaries. Here’s the way you can protect your privacy and also enjoy social company:

Define Your Boundaries

First and foremost, it is essential to address the elephant in the room “What are your boundaries?” Why do you want to set them up in the first place?

Having a session of introspection might be a great help. It may be intimidating at first, but asking oneself questions is the key to create essential boundary lines that give more mental peace and privacy.

Have you been taken advantage of too often? You find it difficult to argue with stubborn people? Do you often resist your opinion because of peer pressure? Do you find it challenging to accept any change?

These are some of the most mind-boggling questions one must address to draw these lines that improve your social interaction with people without being run over by them.

Ask ‘What’s Its Value?’

One can refer to this exercise in simple words as – evaluation. This is the key when it comes to setting demarcating boundaries for your privacy and personal peace. Evaluate what various types of freedom, things, and relationships mean to you.

If you value creative liberty, learn to say no to the work that often makes you ditch your creative mind. You need to make a complete evaluation of things in life to understand where one needs to expand the boundaries and where one needs to constrain them even more.

Communication Is The Key

You cannot expect others to understand your boundaries without communicating them to others. The art of letting others know that you have limited personal space for yourself results in fewer conflicts and arguments.

One has to become assertive enough to say to occasions that put you in a dilemma of protecting your personal space. It is essential to showcase your displeasure through words, expressions, and physical gestures so that such behaviour is not replicated further.

Understand Your Feelings

Many people find it puzzling to understand when other people are infringing their boundaries. The general signs of discomfort like sweating, increased heart rate, tightness in the chest, nervousness, restlessness & anger indicate that your boundaries are not honoured by the other person.

These signs do not suggest that one must confine themselves and should close themselves to the world. Instead, one must use these signals to understand when, where, and how to position one’s boundaries without feeling discomfort.

Determine The Consequences

People might take your limitations for granted. Hence, it is essential to determine the consequences of stepping into the red zone. Sternly rebuking is enough to stop the overstepping of boundaries.

Setting results helps others understand your personal space’s gravity and refrains them from entering your privacy. Consequences serve as an essential tool to make people obey the laws.

Similarly, it is a red flag for people who want to encroach your personal space and escape without repercussions.

So, we hope by now you guys must understand some ways you can set healthy personal boundaries that are beneficial for both you and others.

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    A counselling psychologist by profession, Abs specialises in addressing mental health concerns of adolescents, young adults, and adults including stress & time management, relationship counselling, substance abuse, domestic violence, perinatal problems, depression, loneliness, anxiety, sexual issues, identity crisis and work issues, among others. She believes that therapy can hold different experiences & meanings for each individual, thus using an eclectic approach with her clients.

    Aditya’s passion lies in Career and Business Strategy. He loves Supporting executives and professionals with career obstacles such as self regulation, goal directed persistence, task initiation, planning/prioritization, role transition, organization and time management.

    His clients share from the experience about their coaching engagement  that they feel his coaching is an experience that is engaging, highly energizing and making learning fun. He has a strong determination to offer something different, with the intention of helping others succeed in their walks of life.

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