How To Manage Your Emotional Energy For Mental Wellbeing

In layman’s terms, ‘emotion’ refers to feelings generated spontaneously in a certain situation/circumstance; while ‘energy’ is the force that makes you ‘do’ what you do in response to the situation. Emotional energy therefore, is a force that makes you ‘do’ things based on how you feel under a certain circumstance. More often than not, what your emotional energy makes you do is a ‘reaction’ to a situation rather than an action backed by logical thinking. Therefore, it is very necessary to learn how to manage your emotional energy so you don’t end up doing something you may regret later.

Understanding Positive and Negative Emotional Energy –

Understanding ‘emotions’ per se, is very complex, given that, it is usually an individual’s perception of a situation that adds positivity or negativity to it. Say for example, Ms. S discovered that her fiancé was involved with another woman while they were engaged.

Case 1: Negative perception – Ms. S has a violent outburst, breaks up the engagement, goes into serious depression, develops trust issues and gives in to alcohol to numb her emotional pain.

Case 2: Positive perception – Ms. S speaks up about this breach in trust, breaks the engagement up, grieves momentarily, becomes grateful for having a toxic person removed from her life, picks herself up and moves on.

In case 1, a very negative emotional energy was in play which pushed Ms. S into a self-destructive downward spiral.

In Case 2 however, Ms. S responded to the same situation with more positivity that channeled her emotional energy towards acting in a way that added to her overall well-being and personal development.

Is Your Emotional Energy Well Balanced?

It is difficult for a person to self-assess whether their emotional energy is harmoniously aligned or in absolute chaos. Here are a few signs though, that can help you understand if you need to manage your emotional energy with due urgency…

  • You Complain Incessantly about both relevant and irrelevant matters
  • You Constantly Compare yourself with others and feel incomplete
  • You are trapped in a particular negative experience and determine every future course of action based on it
  • Your emotions reach their peak with negligible instigation
  • You work late night almost every night
  • You avoid conversations and are always on the defensive
  • You start distancing yourself from friends, family, partners, spouse… practically every individual that notices self-destructive tendencies in your behavior
  • It is always difficult for you to forgive yourself
  • You develop addictions (alcohol, binge eating, recreational drugs etc.)
  • You overthink every little action and judge yourself harshly on it

As is obvious, letting mismanaged energy go unchecked can lead to physical manifestations of the same. Excessive stress, common ailments like high blood pressure / blood sugar problems, compromised immunity, insomnia, depression, nagging aches and pains, hair loss etc. are only a few to mention.

Why Should You Learn To Manage Your Emotional Energy –

Learning how to manage your emotional energy gives you a level of self-control that is uplifting and liberating. The practice allows you to respond to situations in a logical way that does not impact your life negatively.

So, why should you learn to manage your emotional energy? When your emotional energy is well balanced, you will experience…

  • More control over your response to negative situations
  • Logical and practical approach to problem solving
  • Energetic participation in professional, personal and social circles
  • Heightened ability to learn and adapt to new situation in life (expected or unexpected) d
  • The ability to feel and retain joy and contentment irrespective of changing circumstances around you
  • Steady drive towards self-development
  • Improved self esteem
  • Deeper and more meaningful relationships

Overall, when you learn to manage your emotional energy, you instantly commence your journey towards becoming the best version of yourself with indubitably fortified mental health.

How to Manage Your Emotional Energy:

Managing your emotional energy for wholesome mental wellbeing is possible with a few simple changes in lifestyle and thought patterns…

  • Identify and Eradicate Existing Stressors – Past trauma, Toxic partners / friends, Negative work environments… the sources of stressors that can trigger negative emotional energy can be infinite. Identifying stressors that push you towards a downward spiral and working around them (if not eradicating them completely) is your first step to regain balance in your emotional energy.
  • Your Current Health Status – Sometimes, deficiency of essential nutrients, diseases / disorders etc. in the body can lead to misplaced emotional energies. Visit your doctor regularly and check if your body is getting the right nutrients and your vitals are in shape.
  • Say No to Addictions – Addictions have never solved anything. Falling back on alcohol, recreational drugs or even binge eating for that matter can give you only momentary highs and life-long mental / physical impairments. If you feel you are getting drawn to addictions, approach a support group immediately.
  • Make Positive Constructive Conversations with Self – Monitor the conversations in your head. Are they positive–constructive or negative-destructive?

If you feel your conversations are more negative, destructive, judgmental, prejudiced, guilt-ridden or based on traumatic incidents from the past… change the course of your thought process consciously.

Ask yourself constructive questions, plan your next creative attempt, visualize joyful scenarios… The impact of planned positive self-conversations is remarkable.

  • Befriend Logic – Before reacting to a situation, stop yourself, and think logically. Is this situation worth the emotional reaction you are about to display? Can the situation be tackled calmly without violent outbursts? Did you actually perceive the situation as it is meant to be or did you overthink to reach an imaginative conclusion?

That minute-long pause for the sake of logical reasoning before reacting, is one of the best ways you can learn how to manage your emotional energy for better mental / emotional health.

  • Don’t Bottle Up Your Feelings – If you have been wronged, speak up. If your partner is emotionally abusive, speak up. If you are not OK with anything in your personal, professional or social life… SPEAK UP. Never bottle up your feelings… The outbursts that follow can be disastrous; something that you may regret later.
  • Invest Time in Creative Distractions and Exercises – Flexing your creative muscles is a proven effective way to manage your emotional energy. ‘Creation’ per se, is driven by positivity. This helps in unclogging and flushing out negative emotional energies over time.

Exercise and sports releases ‘endorphins’ in the body; a chemical that reacts with brain receptors to minimize pain. It is also called the ‘feel-good’ hormone because it produces a feeling of positivity similar to morphine.

  • Learn the Art of Balancing Your Chakras – According to Vedic science, there are 7 Chakras or Energy points in our body that need to remain clean and unclogged in order to maintain perfect mental, physical and spiritual health. Emotional depletion and negativity are counted among the first signs of blocked chakras.

When you feel you need to manage your emotional energy urgently, a trusted Chakra therapist can guide you through the healing process through carefully chosen yoga postures, meditation, breathing practices and mindfulness. The experience is usually very calming and relaxing.

Final Thoughts

These are tough times and there are about a thousand different odds that people need to overcome to survive the excesses of everyday life. Learning how to manage your emotional energy is thus, essential for everyone for the sake of holistic mental wellbeing.

About The Author:

Shalini Arora Kochhar is a Happiness and X-Factor Coach. A trusted and sought-after name in Relationship Coaching, The focus being on creating your “happiness blueprint and finding your ‘X Factor.”, A Midlife Reboot as she calls it. She is a best-selling author, TV anchor and has been recognized for her strides in Transformational Coaching and Empowering Women Entrepreneurs.

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    A counselling psychologist by profession, Abs specialises in addressing mental health concerns of adolescents, young adults, and adults including stress & time management, relationship counselling, substance abuse, domestic violence, perinatal problems, depression, loneliness, anxiety, sexual issues, identity crisis and work issues, among others. She believes that therapy can hold different experiences & meanings for each individual, thus using an eclectic approach with her clients.

    Aditya’s passion lies in Career and Business Strategy. He loves Supporting executives and professionals with career obstacles such as self regulation, goal directed persistence, task initiation, planning/prioritization, role transition, organization and time management.

    His clients share from the experience about their coaching engagement  that they feel his coaching is an experience that is engaging, highly energizing and making learning fun. He has a strong determination to offer something different, with the intention of helping others succeed in their walks of life.

    His accreditations includes him being an Associate Certified Coach (ACC- ICF),Brave Spirit Icon 2017 I Youth Icon Recipient 2016 I National Service Excellence Award 2016 I National Education Award 2015 

    His experience includes 50,000+ hours that involves facilitation/presentation/training/consulting on a wide variety of topics globally across Dubai, Sri Lanka, UK, Canada, Indonesia, Australia, USA. He has successfully engaged with over 1,00,000+ participants from diverse backgrounds working on a national and international assignment since 2014.